I have a very anxious child, who had problems getting to school and even getting out of the house. We did the course for under twelves (Zack was 9 when we started) and it has made such a difference. He can now go out and only misses school when he is really ill. It’s not completely fixed but thanks to your course and the drop-in group I still attend, we have the tools to help him and us with the things that happen. Our goal for the course was to have a happy, confident boy who could go to school and go out to have fun and we could see changes within three weeks of starting the course.
We still have the root cause to help Zack with (the loss of both my parents within 3 weeks of each other) but we know now that we are on the right road.
Thank you so much, we are so grateful for all your very helpful and sensible advice through the local Incredible Years course. We really were so worried about his future.
October 13 at 11:45 am Report
I would be happy for you to use us to give feedback to anyone. I spend my time here telling anyone who is interested how good the course was and how much fantastic advice we got from it. My husband took the time off work to attend the course so after picking Zack up from school we used that to have a good family special time, doing anything Zack wanted which encouraged him to go out (one day we just stood throwing stones in the sea and being three kids having fun!)
Thank you again.
Tan Trappitt I would recommend your course to anyone who loves their kids, it gave us all so much.
“The training has helped me sort out the issues I face with my foster child. …by learning the most effective parenting approaches I have reduced my child behavioral problems before it got out to control so as to strengthen his emotional and academic competence.”
“After 8 weeks of intensive training, I have been able to implement some of the new strategies and skills I learned with my child and we noticed significant changes.”
I foster along with my wife for hackney social services.
We got our 1st child in July 2008, with little or no experience about fostering, basically we were just using our parental skills acquired from bringing up our two children.
This worked for a short period, later our foster child started to exhibit some difficult and challenging behaviours. This causes a lot of stress, confusion, pressure and misunderstanding within the whole family. Finally we concluded that the placement should be terminated.
While the social workers were busy arranging for another suitable placement, I was lucky to be invited to come and broaden my knowledge by attending the 12 weeks Incredible Year Programme.
The training has helped me to sort out the issues I face with my foster child and set the stage for sensitive nurturing and competent parenting that foster positive social behaviours in children as well as enhanced self esteem, by learning the most effective parenting approaches I have reduced my child behavioural problems before it got out of control so as to strengthen his emotional and academic competence.
After 8 weeks of intensive training, I have been able to implement some of the new strategies and skills I learned with my child and we noticed significant changes in our child both at home and report from his school. This has made the family to change our decision to terminate the placement, and work closely with child and the social services.
While in training it was stressed how it’s very important to value play and set aside playtime with our children. The teachers emphasised that Play helps to build warm relationships and strong attachments between family members and it also creates positive feelings. Also, play time encourages the developmental of vocabulary so that children can learn to communicate their thoughts, feelings and needs.
Through play I have helped my child to solve problems, test out ideas and explore his imagination. Play time also helps him to interact socially by teaching him how to take turns, share and be sensitive to the feelings of others, it promote his feelings of self worth and competence.
With a flexible approach to special time and good quality special time given to my child, it has helped to reduce pressure, his feelings of anger, fear, inadequacy and has provided successes and pleasure which has developed him into a unique, creative and self-confident person.
During the training we were also taught the importance of using praise and other social rewards such as positive attention, smiles, and greetings with warmth in our eyes, hugs, stickers, pat on the back and high-fives with our children. Children who receive a lot of praise from their parents develop increased self-esteem. We also learned that lack of praise and attention for appropriate behaviours can lead to increased misbehaviours and that if foster cares take responsibility by modelling positively, there is likelihood of positive change in the relationship with the child.
I have learned to focus on the positive things my child is doing and to encourage and praise him frequently with care and sincerity for his efforts. I used the praise and encouragement strategy to guide my child through the small steps it takes to master new skills, to help him develop appositive self–image, and to provide the motivation he needs to stay in a with a difficult task. Consequently, I noticed that my child likes to repeat and expand those positive behaviours.
Tangible rewards is another important type of reinforced tactics I learned from the training. A tangible reward is something concrete, a special treat, additional privileges, stickers, celebrations, or time spent with some one special. They are usually used to reinforce the achievement of a specific goal. I am using this presently as incentive to motivate my child to change some of his particularly difficult behaviour.
I gave all credits to the organisers of this programme, they are doing a wonderful job, and they are very friendly and supportive.
The training is well presented and easily understandable.
This programme has really give me another dimension to fostering, has added to my parental skills which has taken me to another high level.
We really think that the Adoption Team should take this course on board. It was certainly a light at the end of a very dark tunnel for us in terms of our eldest son’s behavior. When you adopt – as we did two boys – it’s such an unreal experience. You’ve spent years trying for children then going through the “process” without ever knowing if you’ll be successful or not. Then suddenly eight days after meeting two boys – then aged 2 and 5 – you are parents. A lot of emphasis is put on how you’ll talk to the children about the fact that they are adopted, how you’ll explain their early years to them, how you’ll cope meeting the birth parents, but not much on how to build and sustain a good relationship with your children.
Adoption is such a drastic, life changing experience, it is hard to see how you could ever be really prepared for it, but we firmly believe that Webster-Stratton is an excellent foundation on which to build. When we started the course we were desperate, our eldest son’s behavior had continued to deteriorate at home, at school, and at any outside activity he had joined.
The pyramid was a revelation. The idea of child-led play gave us a forum for our eldest son to do something which we could praise and use to build up his confidence and self-esteem. We’d just got caught in the “nag trap” where everything he did or didn’t do was wrong. The emotional piggy bank made such sense. In fact, the whole process has reached further into our lives, and we use the model at work and with family members. It’s good to know that what we are doing now is helping our sons to develop confidence and self-esteem, and that we are helping them to learn how to problem solve.
Like anything worthwhile it’s not easy. It requires effort and consistency, but it has given a framework that has produced good results, and we are very grateful to our facilitators for introducing us to the Webster-Stratton way.
Two adoptive parents
My son is now 18 years old and getting ready to graduate from high school. In 1996 we were part of this program. We were in a group of parents who met every week for 6 months to learn better ways to deal with our child who was diagnosed with Oppositional Behavior Disorder when he was 4 years old. He was the youngest child in our group. While we learned, so did our children, Dinosaur School. I have to say it was the best spent 6 months of our lives. I felt then, and continue to feel so blessed by the opportunity to participate in your program. It truly saved our child and our family. He was out of control and I was afraid and he was only 4. How was I supposed to deal with and control a teen ager if I could not manage a toddler? Our pediatrician did not give us any hopes at all when he diagnosed this child with ODD. He told us to keep on the lookout for “full blown conduct disorder” and told us words like “medications” and “institutionalized.” I was stunned. I did everything I could to find a hope when I realized what conduct disorder really meant.
One day I saw Carolyn on the TV. I wrote down the number and almost forgot to check it out. When I finally did call… well, since that day I have known that it was a gift. He is a successful student. He is well rounded. He has a plan for his life that he wants to be a game designer, he has already written a few games. He has been dating the same girl for 3 years and I witnessed her deal with him while he was almost in a meltdown, it was beautiful. You would have thought she had taken the classes right along with us. Yes, unfortunately he sometimes still has a meltdown… but not nearly like they use to be, and no meds, no institution. I am so proud and so grateful. I just wanted to let you know that no matter how many success stores you hear or have on your web site, that there is one real boy, who was the youngest ever to go into the program, that turned out so much better than even you could have imagined. When you see our video of the home study and see how far we all have come, it’s a miracle, a blessing, and I can never say enough thank yous to you and your programs.
Grateful parents This family contacted us through our website.